I sometimes wish I could download love. I even sometimes spell love in Google’s search box and the most stupid part of my brain awaits for the results as though something surprisingly loveful would pop out.
It’s not much that I want – a torrent. And I’d play love whenever I want to:
When I’m falling asleep I’d play it to quietly purr in my ear;
I’d play it when I’m working, just to fill the background, so that I know that it’s there;
And every time when I need to, I’d replay all the scenes that I love.. about love. And I’d love it.
I also want to watch a real life-changing Ted talk. A life-changer for good and all the good reasons! A Ted talk that would convince me to stop blaming myself:
For being a bitch to those I love and actually haven’t downloaded;
For sleeping with men that I’ll never see again, or for not sleeping with men at all;
For secretly desiring people and not having the balls to admit it;
For keeping my cracked torrent just for myself; not seeding – just leaking.
For wanting to just download.
Downloading love.

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