We started seeing each other one Friday around tea time. He was, naturally, a young English stud with a slim body, unnecessary manners and deeply embedded emotional short-comings. “Exactly what I need – NIL emotionallity – I am incapable of attachment, my heart is long dead and I have priorities!!” my wise biligual head was muttering whilst my not so wise, alingual and supposedly dead … Continue reading NIL
I sometimes wish I could download love. I even sometimes spell love in Google’s search box and the most stupid part of my brain awaits for the results as though something surprisingly loveful would pop out. It’s not much that I want – a torrent. And I’d play love whenever I want to: When I’m falling asleep I’d play it to quietly purr in my … Continue reading Downloading…
Know words. Acknowledge phenomena for what they are and choose whether to support or resist them. Знайте думите. Назовавайте явленията каквито са и изберете дали да ги подкрепите или да им се противопоставите. Comprez les mots. Nommer les phénomènes tels qu’ils sont et choisissez de les supporter ou de les combattre. TERROR, noun, (Latin) A very strong feeling of fear. 1. Something that causes very strong feelings … Continue reading Terror, n, Lat.
I’ve been dealing with panic/anxiety disorder and depression for about 10 years now. No, I am not depressed throughout the whole time, and I am most definitely not sweating my ass off over the everyday bullshit in my life. In fact, I live a perfectly satisfying, independent life in one of the most exciting cities in the world, I stand behind my professional and personal choices, enjoy … Continue reading Mental secrets
Няколко думи от мен: “Моята майка, моето аз” излиза през 1977. Книгата е на Нанси Фрайдей, една от първите “феминистки” в областта на сексологията и еротичната психология. “Моята майка, моето аз” дава добра представа за съществуващите до момента (на първата публикация на книгата) теории за оформянето на женската идентичност под влияние на майчиния модел и засяга теми, които и днес са табу за голяма част … Continue reading Моята майка, моето аз
People sometimes say they are standing at crossroads. For some – there are no crossroads. There are no roads. Some are in the middle of an empty parking lot. Standing. Staring. Silent. They fully realise the significance of their choice – it is universally insignificant! Their reflection in the surrounding others: Some are smiling, knowing that is the first of many free steps. Others are … Continue reading Parking Lot-tery
$(/)$/*&%& Беше неделя. И една полупияна Ирина седна пред лаптопа. Празнуваше Великден. Нечий чужд. Не по начина, на който беше свикнала, а и месец по-рано от нейния. За нея това нямаше особено значение. Може да празнува Великден всяка неделя. Може и да не го празнува изобщо. Прозорецът стоеше широко отворен, сякаш протегнал обятията си към пролетната вечерна прохлада. Бяла котка скокна в скута й и … Continue reading Временно
I get goose bumps when I get to think of how much my life starts to resemble an American chick sitcom. I few days ago I practically fell in love with a guy who was sitting next to me on the plane. I was just comfortably sinking into my fluffy, pink fantasies of us telling the story of how we met to our grandchildren, when … Continue reading Sitcom Incorporated
I love travelling. Ever since I was a little freckled, big-eyed child and my family and I were visiting my grandparents. I loved staring through the window and into the windows of the houses we were passing by – my innocent voyeurism. My dad used to stop midway for a break and sweet treats. That, I would say, was the straight-forward conditioning that today makes … Continue reading (wo)Men on the move
Започнахме да спим заедно един следобед по чаено време. Той, по подразбиране, е млад англичанин, с атлетична фигура, излишно маниернечене и дълбоко вкоренени и напластявани още от прадедите му и далеч назад в епохите, емоционални липси. „Всичко е наред! Не мога да се привържа, аз имам приоритети и смъртоносно ранено сърце!“ редеше мъдрата ми двуезична глава, докато не чак толкова мъдрата ми безезична и смъртноносно … Continue reading Нула (NIL)
Ирина Атанасова | Irina Atanasova 