You see her and you instantly know that if you were a man you’d wished she would be the woman who’d give birth to your children. But you are not a man. You are a woman. A heterosexual woman who now only feels shorter, wider, with the worst of skins and a waste-of-time job. A freak basically. She moves with grace and has a laughter … Continue reading Superhero superego
With the attention span of a tiny monkey, I am staring blankly at the computer screen, after singing two-thirds of a song. Some people in the world know that I like to sing loudly with my headphones on. Luckily, when sober, I sing correctly. Badly enough, though, I possess the ability to sing one and the same song for 73 (and two-thirds) times in a row. … Continue reading Monkey brain
I have deconstructed my life and my beliefs, and their concepts & notions, and the cultural structures that built me, so many times, that I no longer know which is true and which is not, and which is the whole and which – a part of my social construction. Today, with the global network, we get to have all the perspectives on one plate, which … Continue reading A girl of 30.
I am praying for rain nowadays. It’s been a dry spell for some time and nothing grows, nothing blooms. My inner kids are sitting quietly in the corner with their raincoats and wellingtons, waiting for puddles to jump in. But not a drop falls from the skies. My grown up woman is furious – like the fancy-Hollywood ladies with bright lipstick and no shame to … Continue reading Rainman
At times I get so bored by people I actually feel I’d start crying on the inside and my head would flood with tears, and my brain would then drown! And I’ll just drop dead amidst the conversation. “Girl dies out of boredom” all newspapers’ front pages would scream. “Such a tragedy, she was so bored – she couldn’t handle it. They had no mercy” … Continue reading Bored like me
We started seeing each other one Friday around tea time. He was, naturally, a young English stud with a slim body, unnecessary manners and deeply embedded emotional short-comings. “Exactly what I need – NIL emotionallity – I am incapable of attachment, my heart is long dead and I have priorities!!” my wise biligual head was muttering whilst my not so wise, alingual and supposedly dead … Continue reading NIL
Know words. Acknowledge phenomena for what they are and choose whether to support or resist them. Знайте думите. Назовавайте явленията каквито са и изберете дали да ги подкрепите или да им се противопоставите. Comprez les mots. Nommer les phénomènes tels qu’ils sont et choisissez de les supporter ou de les combattre. TERROR, noun, (Latin) A very strong feeling of fear. 1. Something that causes very strong feelings … Continue reading Terror, n, Lat.
I’ve been dealing with panic/anxiety disorder and depression for about 10 years now. No, I am not depressed throughout the whole time, and I am most definitely not sweating my ass off over the everyday bullshit in my life. In fact, I live a perfectly satisfying, independent life in one of the most exciting cities in the world, I stand behind my professional and personal choices, enjoy … Continue reading Mental secrets
People sometimes say they are standing at crossroads. For some – there are no crossroads. There are no roads. Some are in the middle of an empty parking lot. Standing. Staring. Silent. They fully realise the significance of their choice – it is universally insignificant! Their reflection in the surrounding others: Some are smiling, knowing that is the first of many free steps. Others are … Continue reading Parking Lot-tery
I get goose bumps when I get to think of how much my life starts to resemble an American chick sitcom. I few days ago I practically fell in love with a guy who was sitting next to me on the plane. I was just comfortably sinking into my fluffy, pink fantasies of us telling the story of how we met to our grandchildren, when … Continue reading Sitcom Incorporated
Ирина Атанасова | Irina Atanasova 